Republican seniors pasttime... (humor)

[GregLS]

WORKING PEOPLE FREQUENTLY ASK RETIRED PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE THEIR DAYS INTERESTING.

I WENT TO THE STORE THE OTHER DAY. I WAS ONLY IN THERE FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES. WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A CITY COP WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET.

I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID, "COME ON, BUDDY, HOW ABOUT GIVING A SENIOR A BREAK?" HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET. I CALLED HIM A NAME. HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER TICKET FOR HAVING WORN TIRES.

SO I CALLED HIM A WORSE NAME. HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT IT ON THE WINDSHIELD WITH THE FIRST.

THEN HE STARTED WRITING A THIRD TICKET.

THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE MORE I ABUSED HIM THE MORE TICKETS HE WROTE.

I DIDN'T CARE. MY CAR WAS PARKED AROUND THE CORNER AND THIS ONE HAD AN "ELECT JOHN KERRY" BUMPER STICKER ON IT.


I TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW THAT I'M RETIRED. IT'S IMPORTANT AT OUR AGE.

[Bob M]

This was just sent to me by our English friends. Why they think so well of the Queen I'll never know.

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During his visit to England, George W. Bush met with the Queen. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how does your country operate such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Bush frowned. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?" Tony Blair walked into the room. "Yes, your majesty?" The Queen smiles "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good," says the Queen. Back at the White House, Bush asked to speak with vice president **** Cheney. **** , answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one. **** Cheney went to his advisors and asked every one, but none gave him an answer. Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. **** shouted, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

**** Cheney smiles "Thanks!".

Cheney went back to the Oval Office to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It's Colin Powell."

Bush got up, stomps over to Cheney, and angrily yelled into his face, "No, you idiot! ..It's Tony Blair!"

[Speck]

Oh my goodness those are the funniest two things I've read in a long time. Thanks guys I needed that. :)

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Speck
Follower of Christ
Pursuer of trout