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Old 03-22-18, 02:04 PM   #1
TroutTackler
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Monroe, GA
Posts: 2,948
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Lightbulb FS: Orvis Helios 2

Hi folks, I have a brand-new, never-even-cast Orvis Helios 2 9' 4wt. Tip Flex. I have taken it out of the included rod tube and sock just once to look it over, and it's mind-blowingly light, as if it were hand-forged by the dwarves of Morir deep under the mountain. If you remember when Chili's switched from their big glass mugs to the plastic ones that looked exactly the same, people were picking them up for the first time and throwing beverages up into the air or over their shoulders because their brains had associated a certain weight to these imposter mugs, and when the mugs turned out to be much, much lighter, well, let's just say that the mop never dried in any Chili's around the country for several months. This rod has the same effect. How can it be that light??? I DON'T KNOW!! It also has the fit and finish of a perfectly-crafted 1986-model hairpiece created by The Hair Club For Men's own Sy Sperling. The velvety rod sock is like an elongated Crown Royal bag, except the contents really can solve most of your problems. The rod tube is made of some sort of space-age material that is as beautiful and rigid as your fourth-grade social studies teacher, and has a fancy Orvis logo and fish etched into the finish by FRIKIN' LASER BEAMS! This rod, no doubt, will cast dry flies far better than whoever cast the recent Saved By The Bell made-for-tv movie, which ran, I believe, on the Lifetime network. All of this, sold together, should cost you millions... (and I believe it retails for $875) But I'm willing to part with it for $600. Blank Orvis 25-Year Warranty Card included.
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Last edited by TroutTackler; 03-22-18 at 02:49 PM. Reason: Poor Tolkeinology
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